


Sitting on a car in a dead universe

by astronomifier



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Dad's Car, Dirk Narration, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, The Homestuck Epilogues, The Homestuck Epilogues: Meat, death mention, sex mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 05:16:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20384275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astronomifier/pseuds/astronomifier
Summary: JOHN: you know humans don’t really...JOHN: do black romance.JOHN: right?Canon divergence from Meat Chapter 33 where John actually knows how to talk about his feelings.





	Sitting on a car in a dead universe

**Author's Note:**

> Ever since i read the epilogues, I've liked Johnrezi a lot, but dang are they emotionally messed up. So I wrote is something resembling a fix-it fic. This breaks off from Meat Chapter 33 somewhere in the 2nd paragraph of that chapter. Think of it as an AU where Dirk lets them be emotionally mature or something. 
> 
> Huge thanks to my friend @sundaysundya (on twitter) for beta reading this fic.

You’re feeling something for her too, but it’s on a whole other planet from where she is.

You should probably say something about that.

JOHN: you know humans don’t really...  
JOHN: do black romance.  
JOHN: right?

Rather than responding, Terezi grabs her shirt and puts it on. She then proceeds to continue not answering you for a long moment. That’s probably not a good sign. Still, you give her the time she needs to collect her thoughts. She sighs, and then:

TEREZI: Y34H  
TEREZI: 1M NOT 4N 1D1OT, YOU KNOW

You flinch. Of course she knows. Of course she’s not stupid. God, you really hope you didn’t come off as condescending. You should probably apologize. In fact, you’re about to do just that when she continues.

TEREZI: L1K3, TH4TS PR3TTY MUCH 4LL YOU HUM4NS T4LK 4BOUT WH3N QU4DR4NTS COM3 UP  
TEREZI: HOW W31RD 4ND 4L13N YOU F1ND TH3M  
TEREZI: GR4NT3D SOM3 OF TH4T 1S ON K4RK4T B31NG SH1T 4T 3XPL41N1NG 1T PROP3RLY  
TEREZI: BUT TH4T DO3SNT CH4NG3 TH3 F4CT TH4T NON3 OF YOU S33M TO G3T 1T  
TEREZI: R3G4RDL3SS  
TEREZI: 1T DO3SNT R34LLY M4TT3R HOW OFT3N YOU GUYS R3M1ND M3  
TEREZI: 1TS H4RD TO FULLY GR4SP TH3 1D3A TH4T SOM3ON3 COULD 4CTU4LLY B3 UN4BL3 TO F33L TH4T W4Y  
JOHN: what do you mean?

Terezi takes a moment to put her glasses back on before she replies. Or maybe thats just how she stalls while looking for the right words. You’re not sure.

TEREZI: L1K3...  
TEREZI: 1F SOM3ON3 TOLD YOU TH3Y W3R3 B1OLOG1C4LLY 1NC4P4BL3 OF F33L1NG S4D OR 4NGRY OR WH4T3V3R  
TEREZI: YOU C4N H34R TH4T 4ND TH1NK YOU UND3RST4ND 1T  
TEREZI: 4ND ON 4N 1NT3LL3CTU4L L3V3L, SUR3, YOU C4N  
TEREZI: BUT 1F YOU 4CTU4LLY TRY TO PUT YOURS3LF 1N TH31R SHO3S  
TEREZI: YOU C4NT  
TEREZI: NOT R34LLY

She pauses to open the door of the car and float outside. She settles on top of the hatch, seeming to look out at the black hole despite her blind eyes. You follow, hesitantly, and sit next to her.

TEREZI: 1 GU3SS WH4T 1M S4Y1NG, 3GB3RT  
TEREZI: 1S TH4T Y3S, 1 KNOW YOU C4NT F33L BL4CK FOR M3  
TEREZI: BUT TH4T DO3SNT STOP M3 FROM W1SH1NG TH4T YOU COULD  
TEREZI: OR FROM 1NT3RPR3T1NG YOUR F33L1NGS TH3 W4Y 1 W4NT TO

She stops speaking, and it’s your turn to take way too long to reply. Terezi is still looking away from you, though now she’s looking down at her feet, seeming to shrink in on herself. She’s not really known for good eye contact, anyway, but right now it feels particularly guarded. You figure you should probably say… something.

JOHN: man... i’m not sure i was even really thinking about it like that.  
JOHN: i just meant that we don’t do it in our culture.  
JOHN: oh jeez, you’re probably right though. who’s to say humans are even capable of that stuff.  
TEREZI: 1M NOT 4CTU4LLY SUR3 1F YOU C4N OR C4NT, HON3STLY  
TEREZI: YOUV3 B33N PR3TTY GOOD 4T 1T SO F4R  
TEREZI: BUT TH3N 4S SOON 4S W3 B4NG YOU SUDD3NLY H4V3 S3COND THOUGHTS  
TEREZI: SO 1 GU3SS YOU W3R3NT F33L1NG WH4T 1 THOUGHT YOU W3R3  
JOHN: ...  
JOHN: i’m sorry.  
TEREZI: WH4T? WHY?  
JOHN: for...  
JOHN: for not being who you want me to be, I guess.  
JOHN: man, phrasing it that way makes it sound kind of dumb.  
TEREZI: Y34H  
TEREZI: FOR ONC3 IN YOUR L1F3, YOUR3 4CTU4LLY R1GHT  
TEREZI: TH4T W4S 4 DUMB TH1NG TO 4POLOG1Z3 FOR, 3GB3RT  
TEREZI: 1F 4NYTH1NG, 1 SHOULD B3 4POG1Z1NG TO YOU  
JOHN: i mean...  
JOHN: i don’t think you really did anything worth apologizing for either, terezi.  
TEREZI: JOHN 1 JUST P1TCHFUCK3D YOU 3V3N THOUGH YOU 4R3 CL34RLY NOT 1N 4 PL4C3 TO H4NDL3 THOS3 F33L1NGS  
TEREZI: 4ND NOW 1M K1ND OF 4NNOY13D W1TH YOU FOR H4V1NG S3COND THOUGHTS 3V3N THOUGH 1TS MY OWN F4ULT  
TEREZI: 4ND D1SP1T3 KNOW1NG B3TTER 1 ST1LL F1ND SOM3 OF TH4T 4NNOY4NC3 HOT  
TEREZI: 1TS K1ND OF FUCK3D UP

You don’t really have an answer for that. She’s right. It’s fucked up. You should probably feel pretty pissed about it, but… you don’t. You gulp. Damn. You’re completely infatuated, aren’t you?

JOHN: i guess you’re right.  
JOHN: but if it counts for anything  
JOHN: i don’t think i’m mad?  
JOHN: just, confused, i guess. I have been for a while now, I think.  
JOHN: this has pretty much been nagging at me since karkat first told me he thought you and i were black for each other.  
TEREZI: W41T H3 S41D TH4T?  
JOHN: yeah, i guess you weren’t there, huh?  
JOHN: probably for the best... i reacted pretty shittily at the time. JOHN: i think i went out of my way to bottle up my feelings on the subject.  
JOHN: i’m not even sure why i had such a dramatic reaction  
JOHN: i think... i might have been scared?  
JOHN: i still am, probably.  
TEREZI: 4BOUT WH4T, 3X4CTLY?  
JOHN: i guess...  
JOHN: i’m scared that i don’t know how to be what you want me to be.  
JOHN: that i wont be able to be what you want me to be.  
JOHN: don’t get me wrong, i definitely enjoyed... what we just did. in the moment, at least.   
TEREZI: Y34H YOU M4D3 TH4T PR3TTY CL43R, 3GB3RT

There’s another awkward pause as the innuendo comes out and the two of you silently agree that now is not the best time for snark. God, any more of this and I honestly might start pitying you guys.

TEREZI: SORRY  
JOHN: :/

You sigh. You’re not mad at her or anything. You just really wish she would actually take your feelings seriously for more than five seconds. Show the fact that she actually cares. She does care, right? You’re pretty sure she does, underneath all the prickliness. Probably. Its hard to tell with her.

JOHN: i guess what i’m trying to say is  
JOHN: a lot of these emotions are new for me, and maybe they’re pitch, maybe not, i’m not really sure.  
JOHN: but i think i like them. well, most of them.  
JOHN: so i want to try to make this black rom thing work.  
TEREZI: YOU DONT H4V3 TO DO TH4T  
TEREZI: 1M PR3TTY SUR3 TH4T 1F YOU 4CTU4LLY TR13D TO BL4CKFL1RT YOUD SUDD3NLY B3 B4D 4T 1T.  
JOHN: i’m not saying that i’ll like, force myself be your kismesis or what ever.  
JOHN: just like...  
JOHN: i think you’re fun to hang out with, and attractive, and stuff.  
JOHN: and also a little annoying.  
JOHN: annoying enough that you think I’m “black flirting” with you, i guess.  
JOHN: so like.  
JOHN: couldn’t we just keep doing what we’ve been doing?  
JOHN: and maybe it’ll just naturally end up working out.  
JOHN: although, if we do this again i would appreciate a hug afterwords or something.  
JOHN: presuming i don’t, you know.   
JOHN: die from my injuries within the next hour. 

It’s a shame really. That you will, in fact, die from your injuries within the next hour. If it’s any comfort, I can assure you that it’s not Terezi’s fault. I would have killed you off regardless of how rough she was with you. Anyways, she’s talking again.

TEREZI: Y43H, 1 GU3SS W3 COULD TRY TO M4K3 TH1S WORK.  
TEREZI: NOT SUR3 1T WOULD, BUT YOUV3 H4D WORS3 1D34S, 3GB3RT.  
TEREZI: 4ND 1 SUPPOS3 1 COULD GIVE YOU HUGS 1F YOU R34LLY W4NT TH3M  
TEREZI: THOUGH TH4T G3TS D4NG3ROUSLY CLOS3 TO BLURR1NG P4L3.  
TEREZI: TH3N 4G41N SO D1D TH1S 3NT1R3 CONV3RS4T1ON.  
TEREZI: SO Y34H. 1 TH1NK 1D L1K3 TH4T.

By Terezi’s standards that counts as positively sentimental and, as if to tell you that, she finally looks up at you. Well, “looks”. I’m not really sure how her whole smell-o-vision thing works and I’m frankly not eager to find out, so let’s call it that. Point is, this time the silence between the two of you feels comforting, rather than awkward. Maybe romantic, even. You study her weird alien face and find it really beautiful for reasons I don’t fully understand. Whatever floats your boat, dude. You reach a hand up to her cheek and lean in. She tenses for the slightest moment, before reciprocating.

Okay, this is nearing Candy levels of saccharine. Like seriously, did the red text suddenly take back over? I think it’s high time to have that wound go back to killing you.


End file.
